I turned 53 last week. Its always the same - For me, birthdays trigger a period of self reflection and assessment.... you know, all the usual stuff - who am I? is this the life I want? am I 'living' or merely existing? Am I living a valuable life? Am I really enjoying my life?
I would probably prefer to avoid such deep introspection but after so many birthdays I know it is instinctive and there is no hope of stopping it.
This year I realised The Improbable Dream was adding a wonderful and fulfilling dimension to my life. It is rewarding and satisfying on a daily, weekly and an annual basis.
Yes, there are many days when I am dissappointed with my effort and my progress but overall, the realisation of the Dream provides me with a strong base of fulfilment and self respect. On a regular basis I am able to pat myself on the back, and say 'Well Done' - be it completing a stronger training session than previously or just overcoming my internal laziness and going out to train or pushing myself hard into the really uncomfortable anaerobic zone. Sometimes its just taking the time to reflect on a training session and looking for the lessons to learn. Whatever, there are many many times when I can, and do congratulate myself.
To continue my non-stop use of cliches from last year life is a journey. Its a series of little steps; a collection of individual harmonic notes in the 'opus' of our lives. Each step, each major note should be celebrated and enjoyed. Each one should be recognised as another beautiful step in the 'rich tapestry called life'
It took me a while to realise this. In the two months since my last post I have had some serious doubts as to whether or not I can achieve the Improbable Dream - am I too old? will I ever be fit enough? When am I going to be able to call myself 'fit'? Is it all worth it?
Eventually I realised the answers don't matter.
What matters is I enjoy 'being' an emerging distance athlete. I enjoy how it feels, I enjoy the challenge it presents to my mind and my body, and I enjoy thinking about my various achievements.
So I am back on track and ready to get into this year's journeys. Soon I will write about my challenges for this year. One thing is for sure - They are challenging and 'improbable'.
But over-riding everything this year will be my attitude. This year I will REALLY celebrate my efforts, my successes and my failures. I will remember to really LIVE LIFE, to love the journey, to enjoy the various parts of my personal symphony.
So its a new year. Happy Birthday to my self and my dream. This year I will live large, train hard, achieve much...oh, and only drink GOOD coffee.
It's time to write the next page of the journey. As the cliche's say 'Bring it ooonnnnn!
More later, journey on....
James
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