Maybe its possible after all !!!

Written Friday 15th January

'Victory belongs to those who believe in it the most, and those who believe in it the longest.' Colonel Doolittle.

Today I overcame my inner voice to fast-walk a marathon distance - and in the January heat too!!

I left at 6am after a good protein-based breakfast and walked to the far end of Manly and back again, a distance of 43km in a reasonable time. So what? I done this before. Why do I think this changes anything?

Because I talked myself into not quitting, to not giving up. All day I had a sore knee and I kept thinking about the doctor telling me yesterday that my heamoglobin was low and this would make it hard to be a distance athlete. Also in my mind was Shirl's advice to 'catch a train home if it started getting too hot or if the knee starts to hurt.' All these things kept playing on my mind and I made a few unscheduled stops because of my knee, the heat and tiredness. So I had plenty of reasons to quit. Despite deciding to quit several times I eventually overcame my mind, finished the course and completed my target for the day. It was a tough day - physically and mentally- and I got there in the end. Here's what I learnt -

1. It feels better to finish than to quit. Both feelings last a long time. Finishing feels better than any mild discomfort during the exercise. What's more, if I'd stopped at say the 30km mark and caught the train back home I'd have let myself down and still have sore legs. By finishing I keep my commitments to myself, I made the sort of decisions that distance athletes make, I ended up feeling great about myself and I did it despite a sore knee and legs.

2. I learnt to enjoy the discomfort, it can feel good. I know the hurt will stop eventually but while it goes on, it helps me to learn more about myself. Not sure what that is just yet, but as I push myself further I know I'll learn. (On previous long hikes I started seeing into myself. Once I saw a room with some sort of buddhist chrystal in the middle and on the walls there were pictures displaying my memories. Very nice- some sort of mental graphic depiction of my inner self.) So I actually look forward to more 'tiredness'

3. I need to learn more about re-fuelling. I drank a number of Gatorades and had a few sport gels so I had plenty of carbs, along with lots of water. I also ate a small protein bar at 20kms. Did it help? I guess so but I had trouble feeling it. Did it do any harm? Did I do too much? Too little? I dont know. I'll have to read more and then try to connect with what's going on 'inside' me.

For the overall walk I was strong for the first 20kms but by the time I got to the Manly foreshore my knee was hurting. Near the Wynnum Pool I had to sit down for a while and then I needed to stretch my knee when I started again. At the turnaround point I was hot, sore and tired but OK. On the way back I kept arguing with myself as to stop or not but by the time I got to the top of the Manly foreshore - with only 10ks to go I knew I'd complete it, even though I physically had to walk past Lota station. The last stretch - Collingwood Rd - was very slow and hot. A bottle of soft drink that I bought and drank at Thornside did not help!

Aftermath - I iced my knee and legs and was thankfully it was not very sore the next day. On Day 2 & 3 I was weary both mentally and a bit physically.

Overall,a very good effort. Great to know I can overcome my mind and my doubts. And it feels great to have made the right decisions when tired and/or challenged.

More later, journey on.


Word count - 677